Please Help Me
by your-best-friend715
Summary: *SPOILERS 8x12* Reid is falling apart and the team is worried for him; Derek Morgan especially. How can they cheer him up? NOT SLASH! Just some brotherly love/comfort between my two favorite characters. A bit AU in later chapters. Rated T because I'm paranoid. Read and review please!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So, this is my second story on FanFiction and my first for Criminal Minds, which surprises me because I'm am so obsessed with this show it's not even funny. This is also my first multi-chapter fic so it would be really awesome to have some reviews about how it is (a.k.a. was it sucky or did it drag on?). It's about what was going through Reid's mind when Maeve died. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and or the show or the quote.**

**Thanks for reading! Please review!  
**

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The World She Left Behind

Thomas Merton said, "Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul."

She lifted the gun to her head, and all Reid could do was scream, "Wait!" He wanted to tackle her with his lithe body and make sure that she was separated from Maeve, so he could save the woman he loved. One shot was all he heard, because he went blind for all of two seconds. It was like those old dramatic movies. If they wanted to make the murder even more dramatic, they would make the screen black and all the audience would hear was the single gunshot that inevitably killed the character. Unfortunately, Spencer did not have the comfort of the movie theater or his own couch to bring him back to reality. Instead, when he regained his sight, he watched as Diane and Maeve fell together, side by side, heads containing the exact same wounds. Their blood mingled and pooled around them and finally Diane was on the same "level" as Maeve; but only in death.

As soon as Spencer processed what happened, which did not take that long, he felt the pain. No, it wasn't the pain from the gunshot to his arm. It was the pain in his heart, his mind, his everything. She was his everything. Before he just couldn't focus because her life was in danger. Now, he doesn't know if it's possible to work properly ever again.

2,412 hours. 100.5 days. That was all he got. That was all he got to love her. All their letters and phone calls. From the Penrose Triangle to Thomas Merton. All those memories were all he had left of her. He never even truly got to say "I love you." She understood that he didn't mean what he said before, but that wasn't the same. All he wanted to do was to hug her close and whisper those three words in her ear.

So, he did. After crumbling to the ground, tears falling from his eyes in waterfalls, he slowly made his way to her body. Carefully, he picked her up. Cradling her in his arms, he examined her pale, perfect face through his bleary eyes. She was perfection. Her body still held some of the warmth of life, making her appear as if she was sleeping. Then the tears flowed ever faster down his cheeks. He would never see her eyes open again. Spencer pulled Maeve's body impossibly closer, not caring that the blood was dripping on his clothes from her head. He sobbed into her neck, forgetting that he wasn't the only one in the room.

The team stood around him in a protective circle trying to find a way to comfort their broken friend. Spencer's body convulsed with the muffled sobs and all they could do was watch. Rossi and Hotch both barely kept their emotions unseen as they remembered their lost loved ones. Alex, being the first to know about Maeve, although accidentally, had felt so much for Reid and she stepped outside of the building, not being able to take much more of the terrible scene. JJ tried to touch his shoulder but, as soon as she made contact Spencer shook her off and looked at her with the saddest eyes that held the most emotions she's ever seen in him. In that instant, JJ's steel composure cracked and a single tear spilled out of her eye. It was worse than the day she told him that Emily had passed. She stepped back and accepted the shoulder of Derek Morgan who was so distraught for his best friend. His "Pretty Boy" was rocking back and forth now still holding Maeve's immobile form as close as possible. Derek had promised that they would get her out alive. He had promised that they would catch the unsub and Reid would get to tell her that he loved her. Morgan wished so hard that he could make that true; that this was a dream and Reid could have the ending he wanted.

Slowly, they each left the room so Spencer could mourn on his own. That might have not have been a great idea because when the coroner and medical team came, Spencer would not let them take her. He tried to keep her, now ice cold, body in his arms. Only when he screamed for the medics to get away did Derek come in to pry his arms from her body. It took Derek a lot more strength than he predicted but then again, Reid was holding on to the woman he fell in love with.

When Reid was separated from Maeve, he turned on Morgan. "You promised me that we would get her back safe and alive!" he spat, "This is all your fault! Why couldn't one of you guys shoot Diane before she shot Maeve?! Don't you care about me and my happiness!" Spencer yelled viciously at his teammate. He pushed himself away from Morgan and ran out of the building past the team and down the street. He didn't know where he was going and he didn't care. All that mattered was that Maeve was gone and he was broken. Spencer was blaming himself now. _  
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_Why couldn't I have thought of a way out of there alive? She loved me and I loved her but when I had my chance, it was gone! Why am I so stupid?! I should have found a way out! Everybody thinks I'm so smart but I can't even save the woman I love!_

These thoughts replayed over and over until Spencer couldn't run anymore. He slowed to a walk and found the nearest bench to curl up on. He wrapped his arms tightly around his middle as if that was the only thing keeping him together. The sobs calmed but the tears continued. Soon, he was asleep, dreaming of his lost love.

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_He was sitting in the restaurant where they were supposed to meet. He was so nervous that his hands were getting clammy and he just kept playing with the napkins. He was looking around the room to see if he could find her, but with no such luck. When he turned back, there she was, beautiful as ever. But there was something a little bit off about her. Spencer just sat there and stared at the gaping hole in her head. Then she started talking, but it wasn't about the memories that they shared, no. "You were supposed to save me." she said. Baffled, Reid leaned forward and asked her to repeat herself. "You were supposed to save me. I thought you loved me. Maybe you were lying to me. Maybe you did love her!" Maeve spat. _

_But the thing is, she wasn't yelling. Her face was as blank as when he last saw her. Her voice was steel and cold as she yelled louder and louder at Spencer until she jerked to the side, like she was getting shot again, and fell to the floor. Spencer stood up and knelt to her side. Gone was the restaurant and the table. They were back in the warehouse, but instead of seeing Diane's body as well, Maeve's lay alone on the icy floor. Reid picked her body up again and cradled it like he had before. This time, she did not stay in her eternal slumber. He held her in his arms and the waterworks started flowing. But, for one second her eyes opened and she glared at him. "Why couldn't you save me?"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh My Good Golly Gosh! Thanks a bunch for the reviews and the story alerts! I'm really really sorry that I haven't updated in like forever. I have so much stuff going on with school and everything but it warms my heart to know that you liked my first chapter!**

**Alrighty here is the second one which is a bit longer and it's mostly in Derek's POV but only because I wanted to get a feel for that side of the situation. At the end it goes back to Spencer's POV. **

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! (I wish I did though)  
**

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A Friend in Need

Derek glanced up from his slumber in the plastic chair. His eyes landed on the thin body, asleep in the hospital bed. Spencer was curled up on his side again, just like when the older agent found him on the park bench. His face was contorted in pain and silent tears still fell from his eyes. Derek sighed. His friend was brokenhearted and all he could do was watch. He didn't know what to do or how to help him. As Derek mulled this over, Spencer moaned softly in his sleep. Derek's attention was put full on the young genius. Spencer's face twisted and the tears trailed down his cheeks faster but he did not wake. Derek relaxed a little bit and then his phone vibrated.

"Morgan."

"Is he okay? I heard what happened. Where is he? How is he?" a frazzled Penelope Garcia asked.

"Calm down, Baby Girl. He's fine. I'm here at the hospital and he's asleep." Derek answered.

"Wait, what is he doing in the hospital? I heard about Maeve but why is he in the hospital?!" Garcia was getting really anxious now.

"Come on Mama, you gotta calm down." Derek chided, "Diane shot her gun and the bullet grazed his shoulder but other than that he is physically fine. Physically. Emotionally, I'm not exactly sure. "

"Do you think he's going to be okay?" Garcia meekly asked.

"I think so. I mean, he's got all of us to lean on. We're all going to be here for him."

"Yeah, I know. Okay My Chocolate Adonis, you better call me about anything new with my junior G-man. I gotta go. Bye Sweet Cheeks."

"Bye, Baby Girl." Derek said and he ended the call. "I hope you heard that Pretty Boy. We're all here for you."

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_Derek followed Spencer out of the warehouse and soon found his lithe form trembling on a park bench. Spencer was still crying and he was mumbling something incoherent in his agitated sleep. His best friend had just lost the only person that fully understood him. The pain was evident in Reid's eyes when he yelled at Derek for lying to him. He carefully sat down beside his trembling body. Derek sighed. "I'm sorry, Pretty Boy." Then upon noticing the shoulder wound, he tried shaking the young genius awake. "Come on, kid. You gotta' get up now so we can get your shoulder all fixed up." Because the nightmare was keeping Spencer asleep, Derek started to gather the man into his arms with the intent of carrying him to the ambulance that was waiting not too far away. But as soon as Spencer was lifted, he jerked awake and almost punched Derek in the face. Upon realizing who was holding him, Spencer relaxed but looked away from him and softly pleaded, "Put me down." "Alright, Pretty Boy," Derek said, "But you gotta' promise that you will come with me to get your shoulder all patched up." Spencer looked up at the older man hurt and angry eyes but complied and walked slowly with Derek to the ambulance.  
_

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After arriving at the hospital Spencer was soon taken to a room where the doctors could treat his wound. Derek made sure that Spencer was not given narcotics and for that he was thankful, because he couldn't find the strength in his voice to speak. He just sat there on the bed with his bandaged arm staring at nothing and replaying the terrifying memories and dreams in his head. Then he looked at the door. Derek Morgan walked in and pulled the plastic chair up close to the bed. "Hey kid, why don't you get some sleep. You've had a long day." Spencer slowly laid back in his bed and closed his eyes. He fell into a deep, and fitful sleep.

All through the drive to Spencer's apartment, Derek tried to get the genius to talk but to no avail. All Spencer would do was stare out the window, but not really at anything. He was still lost in thought over recent events. When they got to the building, Spencer almost bolted out of the car and into the edifice. He would have almost made it if he didn't jostle his arm so much trying to get out. Wincing, he slowed himself down and Derek ran over to him and then walked him inside. They made it to the apartment and Spencer almost shut the door in Derek's face but Derek held the door open. "Now, you listen here Pretty Boy. Whenever you need anything, and I mean anything at all, you can just call me." Derek said, "It doesn't matter what time it is or whether we have a case or not. I will always be there for you. And so will the rest of the team. Don't shut us all out." Spencer was looking down at the floor and nodded ever so slightly that Derek almost missed it. "Are you sure you want to be alone?" Derek asked. Spencer nodded again and with that he closed the door, leaving the older agent standing in the hallway.

Not willing to leave the premises yet, Derek stood outside Spencer's door for a few minutes hoping to hear some signs of normalcy. Something like a coffee pot or the television would have been alright. But instead of that, Derek heard silence. It was as if the apartment was empty. A part of him wanted to knock again but instead he just figured that the kid needed some time, and left.

After a few days, Derek's worry grew. He never heard from Spencer and he was hoping to get a phone call or a text or something. Not even JJ had heard from him. All throughout the day his mind wondered to whether Reid was okay or not. He knew that it would take some time but everyone needs to vent to someone. Not being able to sit any longer, he walked to Garcia's lair. "Hey there Baby Girl." He greeted her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Fire away hot stuff." Garcia said.

"Have you heard anything from Reid?"

The bubbly technical analyst's face fell at the sound of Reid's name. She turned in her chair to face Morgan. "Sorry darling, I have no news from the junior G-man and I'm getting worried."

"Me too." Morgan agreed. "After work I think I'll stop by his house before heading home."

"Good. And when you do get there can you make sure that my baskets are getting to him?"

"What baskets, Garcia?"

"I sent him gift baskets and I want to know what he thinks of them. I tried to think like Reid." Garcia said.

"Alright Garcia I will. Bye Baby Girl." Morgan said as he walked out of the Cave of Wonders.

After he finished most of his paperwork, Derek packed up and went to his car. _Time to check on Spencer, _he thought. After arriving at the building, Derek walked up the stairs to the agent's apartment and knocked on the door. "Reid!" he called. "It's me Derek!" No answer. _Maybe he fell asleep,_ Derek thought. He looked down at the floor noticing at least 3 overflowing gift baskets with the contents ranging from get well care packages to Star Trek memorabilia. After chuckling to himself, Morgan turned around and was about to walk away when he heard a crash of a bottle and then a muffled "Shit!" Coming from inside. Morgan immediately turned back to the door and knocked a little louder this time, hoping to get the genius to open the door. Luckily, Reid did open the door but only a little because the chain was still locked on. "What do you want, Morgan?" Reid slurred. Morgan took the sight in. He only saw a part of Reid's face but he could clearly tell that the circles under his eyes were darker than ever and that his cheeks were a slight shade of pink. And from the sound of his voice and the smell of his breath, Spencer Reid had obviously been drinking. "Reid, are you okay?" Derek tried. "Yes, of course Derek I'm just peachy!" Reid snapped. "My life is just ten times better because the only woman I have ever loved died right in front of my eyes and I never even told her I loved her!" By the end of his sentence, Reid was fuming and Derek was stunned. He already knew he that the man loved Maeve, but who ever knew that he had it in him to drink so much. Spencer was swaying on the spot. Morgan tried to calm him down. "Come on Reid, maybe we can talk about this inside." This however was probably the wrong thing to say.

"Derek Morgan you do not have any right to my life! You should just get out of here and leave me the fuck alone!" Spencer spat. And with that the door slammed shut and Morgan was shut out. Before leaving however he said, "I'm still here for you whenever you need me. And don't forget your baskets from Penelope before your neighbors steal them!"

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After Spencer slammed the door, he returned to the kitchen table where he accidentally knocked over his bottle of wine. It broke in pieces on the floor and the contents were spilled everywhere. Walking around the mess, he sat in the chair staring at his half-filled wine glass. This was probably his sixth or seventh, but who's counting. He was heartbroken and in pain and he couldn't take reality so much anymore. He wanted to forget and across the table sat his release. No it wasn't the wine. Across the table sat a syringe, and a small bottle with a clear liquid. Spencer took a long draft from his wine glass, almost emptying it and slowly reached for the bottle across the table.

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**Oh no! Spencer! **

**Now in my humble opinion, if Reid ever got drunk, he would get drunk with wine. He would be one of THOSE GUYS. Hardy har har. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! I'll try to get the next one up as soon as possible!**

**Reviews and constructive criticism would be awesome! No Flames please! **

**Tanks all you peoples! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh hey there! Thanks a bunch to those who are now following my story! Whenever I get an email saying that I have a new follower for the story, it makes me really happy! Anyways, I managed to get another chapter in! This one is kind of a short chapter. It's like the inner workings of Spencer's mind so, I guess you could say its a kind of filler chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING (except the plot) **

**Enjoy!**

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Decisions

Spencer's hand froze. Was he really going to do this? Was he really going to throw away so many months of sobriety? Was it worth the numb feeling he would get? Maybe. He was in so much pain at the moment that his incredible mind couldn't figure out a decision. He just sat there with his hand reaching for the tiny bottle. It was ironic really. This was how it was with M-… _her._ He couldn't even say her name. He was always reaching out towards her in the hopes that one day she would reach for him and their lives would meet in harmony. He knew it was a bit dumb, but what could he say? He fell head over heels for her. She meant everything to him and he onlywished he had more time.

Spencer's hand still hovered ever closer to the bottle. It would be so easy to forget the ache in his heart; to forget the pain in his body. All he had to do was let go of his dignity and go back into the dark realm of Hankel. Back to the cabin, where he was closest to death. However, he seemed closer to death now. Now, he had lost the one thing he was desperate to hold on to. Of course he had his mother and the team but this was different. The team never understood him and his mother was never lucid enough to have conversations about anything. With _Her_, talking was effortless. Their conversations were filled with laughter and intellect. With her gone, there was no one.

Now reminiscing upon the hours of phone calls and hundreds of letters, the tears came. The sobs came in waves and he was shaking in his chair. He pulled his arm back to wrap it around himself again. Through bleary eyes, he tried walking to the couch again, where he lay for the past few days. Today was the first day since he got back home, that he found the strength to move from his couch and do something. He hadn't done anything except lay down, cry and hold "The Narrative of John Smith" to his chest. Hobbling over to the aforementioned resting place, he tripped over his carpet and landed on the floor scratching his knee and hand as he broke his fall. This only fueled his self-hatred. _I'm a socially awkward, skinny, clumsy excuse for an FBI agent who can't even do anything right. Maybe I should just leave the world. _Reid's thoughts swirled around his head as he pushed himself off of the floor and fell onto the sofa. He stared at the coffee table in front of him and at the book he left there; the last physical piece from _her_.

Reid fell into another fitful sleep and jerked himself awake from the terrifying nightmare. All of them had been the same since the incident. It was still _her _face and _her _voice that came up in his mind. Well, he did fall in love with her voice didn't he? But, even if it was her voice, this one was cold and spiteful like Diane had been. He ran his hand through his hair and took a shaky breath. He looked over to the kitchen table where he sat the night before contemplating his fate. Would he do it? He still couldn't decide. He looked away from the enticing bottle and read the time on his clock. 1 am. He curled into the corner of his couch and wrapped his arms around his torso again. Would there ever be an end to his pain?

He knew he should tell someone. He knew that Derek was right. Maybe he would try sometime soon. Would anyone listen? Is there someone else out there that understood him?

With all these questions in swimming in his mind, Spencer Reid fell back asleep. This time he had a new dream; this time he had a new nightmare.

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**There you have it! I wonder what Spencer's mind will create...**

**Alright then I'm sorry if you were expecting more from this chapter but I have something planned for the next one so be looking out for the next update!**

**Reviews and constructive criticism welcomed. Please no flames!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well, hello there my lovelies! Thanks a bunch for putting my story in your Story Alerts. It seriously makes me like super happy when someone does that though. :) **

**Anyway, sorry for the wait on the update (hey that rhymed!) but I've been super busy with the play at my school and I had a really really bad case of writer's block so now that all of that is over, I'm going to work on this and try to update soon!**

**Disclaimer: Again, I do not own anything! If I did, I wold be rolling in money hahaa!**

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Nightmares and Remedies

While Derek Morgan was just driving home from Reid's apartment, he thought back to the state in which Spencer was in. Disheveled, drunk, and exhausted, but most of all, in agony. He could only imagine what hell younger man was going through. But, he knew Spencer's weakness; bottling up emotions. He tried to keep everyone away when he was broken so they didn't pity him. That was what he did with the whole Hankel incident. Spencer's own best friend couldn't even comfort the guy or help him with his addiction. While pondering all of this, Derek made a decision. He looked for the nearest U-turn and headed back to the apartment building. He wasn't going to let his friend suffer alone.

Once he got to the building, he bounded up the stairs and went the Spencer's door. He was about to knock when he heard muffled screams coming from inside. Frantically, Derek pounded on the door and yelled, "Spencer! Spencer, it's me Derek! Open up!" After banging the door a couple more times, Derek couldn't wait any longer. He backed up to the wall across from the door, pushed off, and kicked Spencer's door open. What he saw inside was not a pretty scene.

Spencer Reid was crying and thrashing around in his sleep screaming "No! Don't leave me here! It's not my fault!" Derek rushed over to the man and knelt by the couch trying to figure out a way to calmly wake the genius up. "Reid? Reid! Spencer!" he cried, "It's just a nightmare! Wake up!" Now he was hold Reid's arms down, more for his own safety than anything, because they were flailing around and one swing almost hit Morgan in the face. Even then, Spencer still did not wake. Whatever Spencer was dreaming about was scaring him. Derek started shaking the man slightly and soon after one more loud scream of "No!" Spencer's eyes shot open.

He frantically searched the room with wandering eyes and then his gaze landed on one Derek Morgan who seemed to be restraining him. "What are you doing here?" Spencer cried. "Never mind me. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" Derek asked. "Spencer looked down. He hated pity and he felt that Derek was smothering him. "Get out of here Morgan," He spat. "I don't need your pity so go show yourself out." Spencer tried to free his arms to wipe his face clear of tears but to no avail. Derek's arms were firm and Spencer was pinned to the couch. "Come on, Pretty Boy. I know that when I have nightmares I like talking to Clooney about it. I know he can't talk but it helps." Derek slowly released his arms and then helped the genius to sit up. Spencer took a deep breath. "I don't know what to do anymore." He confessed, "She was my world, my everything. I couldn't even protect her and she was- no is- one of the most important people in my life." Sobs came and Spencer was just held by Derek because the words weren't forming in his mouth anymore. When he calmed down, he released Derek's shirt that he didn't realize he was holding and sat up. He kept looking down at his hands as he fidgeted in silence.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Derek started. Spencer nodded and shifted in his seat. He took a deep breath and spoke in a whisper, "I was in the bullpen and the team and I were having some fun and goofing off. Then Ma- _she_ came inside through the door. But, she was in a kind of ghost form and she was glaring at me but not one of you noticed her even as I pointed to her. You guys just kept talking to me like I was going crazy." Spencer gulped. "Then she crept up to each one of you and whispered something to each one of you. Then all of you started yelling at me for being a failure and then the scenery changed. We were back at the warehouse where _she_ died and she was lying on the ground again. Then each of you kept yelling at me and pointing at the body and saying it was my fault. I saw a courtroom and each one of you were testifying against me and I was sent to jail as each one of you left me all alone in the dark chained to a wall." The tears started again.

"Oh, Reid." Derek said sadly as he collected the broken genius in his arms in a comforting embrace. "Shh, it's alright." Spencer was sobbing into Derek's shirt as the older man rubbed soothing circles on his back. When the sobs slowed, Derek broke the hug and said, "Pretty Boy, look at me." He pulled the younger man's chin up so they were seeing eye-to-eye. "Never would I, nor the team, leave you alone." he said firmly. "We are all here for you. We know that Maeve," Spencer winced a bit, "meant so much to you and we can only imagine what you're going through." Derek said reassuringly. "We want to help you get through this."

"I was thinking about using again." Spencer confessed, "I mean, I was debating with myself whether it was worth throwing away all my dignity for one release from pain." Derek gasped a little bit. "Spencer, I am so glad that you trust me enough to tell me this." Spencer pulled away from the older agent and positioned himself facing the other side of the room so as to not make eye contact with him. "Reid, I know how difficult it was for you tell me that. I know that you don't like pity from others but look at me and tell me if you see pity in my eyes." Spencer peeked a glance at Derek and sure enough the older agent was right. "I just don't know what to do." he said as he turned to face the older agent again. "You don't have to know what to do right now so long as you talk to someone when you need some help. Now come on let's get you to sleep." The younger man looked up at Derek and asked, like a small child, "Will you stay?" Morgan smiled, "Of course I will." With a smile, Morgan helped the broken man to his feet, patched up his scrapes and scratches, and tucked him into bed.

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**So, I think I'm going to add one or two more chapters to this. If I add two, then the second one would be an epilogue or something. **

**Anyway, tell me what you guys think! Reviews please! I crave them!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh it has been too long! **

**I'm sorry for those waiting on this update I really am. I've been really worked up with school and now that it's over, I think I can finally finish this sucker! Thanks to all you out there reading and reviewing my story! **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything except the plot! Enjoy**

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A Step in the Right Direction

"At least he's sleeping again." A concerned JJ said, "Before, he was running on coffee and sugar." "Yeah, I'm glad that Pretty Boy is getting some shut eye." said Derek as he looked over to the chair on the other side of the jet. There, curled up on his side, was Spencer in deep slumber. They were going home after a long and tiring case and this was the first one that Reid had come along, albeit a bit late. Even if he was sleeping, Spencer looked incredibly exhausted, like he had run a triathlon. Derek was just happy that he opened up to him and that he could help the young genius. As he watched over the sleeping man, Derek remembered one time when he dropped in on the said genius.

"_Hey Kid, it's me!" Derek said as he knocked on the apartment door. There was no answer for a while but when he listened closely, Morgan heard a small muffled, "It's open," Coming from inside. Derek entered the apartment and found Spencer curled up on the couch once again clutching "The Narrative of John Smith." There were no more tears to shed for that had been done weeks ago but there was an aura of grief that surrounded the room. Derek walked up to Spencer and sat by his head. _

_No words were spoken for what seemed like a long time but only lasted a few minutes. "One month, four days, nineteen hours, and thirty five minutes." Spencer stated. His voice was even and monotone, like the computer the team joked that he was. Derek didn't have to ask what the days and numbers were about. Spencer had been tracking the days since Maeve's funeral. That memory alone was heart breaking in it of itself. Derek remembered the defeated look on Spencer's face as he stared at the closed mahogany coffin, tears flowing freely. Derek remembered Maeve's parents as they sat next to Spencer and Maeve's mother held his hand. The three of them had commonality, though they never formally met. They all loved her. That was what Derek was thinking when he saw the three of them walk up to the casket together and touched it. Spencer had his last moment with her has her parents backed away, her mother breaking down once more. _

_When the service was over and the coffin was slowly being lowered into the ground, Derek waited for Spencer so he could give the man a ride home. He saw Spencer slowly crumble to the ground, body shaking with sobs. Derek wanted to take Spencer away from this horrid place. The young man was broken enough knowing that she was gone. But, he knew that this was something that Spencer needed to see in order to start the journey of healing. _

_Spencer had taken baby steps on the road to recovery. From the first time that Derek had visited the Junior G-man, Spencer had opened up and let Derek in. He allowed someone to help him along get through this time. _

_Spencer pulled Derek out of his thoughts, "I __haven't had as many nightmares as before." Derek smiled, "That's good. The team is really worried about you. When I tell them this, they're going to be so happy for you!" Spencer sat up slowly and put the book down. "I think I can go back soon. I mean, I know that I'm still working on the healing part, but I think returning to the team is going to help me with that." The older agent slung his arm over the younger agent's shoulders. "There you go, Kid. We can drive in together tomorrow and if you need to take a break then you should okay?" Spence nodded._

That was a good day. When Spencer came back, the team was welcoming but it seemed they had less time to celebrate because there was a new case that needed their attention. The case was as brutal as always but it seemed to hit close to home for Spencer. The unsub had been targeting brunettes in their mid to late twenties. He would torture them and their boyfriends and then kill them both. With all that, Spencer tried to hide the desperation and pain with extra work. He would stay up even later than Hotch to find more evidence and in the morning he would have four cups of coffee filled with sugar. JJ and Derek almost had to lock him in his room. When they found the unsub's hideout, Spencer was the first to run out of to the police department to the cars and almost drove away himself but a stern look from Hotch slowed him down. They got there and caught the unsub almost about to kill the girl, Jessica. Spencer looked like he had a huge weight lifted off his chest and he all but collapsed in the backseat of the SUV and was almost asleep when they reached the police department. They collected their belongings and the next day they were headed out.

They touched down in Quantico after a few hours and they all headed home to get some much needed rest. They next day, after filing all the paperwork, Derek headed over to Spencer's to see how the kid was doing. After knocking on the door a few times, Spencer opened up looking about ten times better and he invited Derek in. The apartment was messy but he could see that Spencer was trying to put it back in the pristine condition that it was before. "How you doing kid?" Derek asked lightly. "I think I'm doing okay. I think that case got to me a little bit." Spencer said as he stacked some more books up on one of the many shelves in his living room. Derek helped him and said, "That last case was a tough one. But you got through it and now you're stronger than ever." Spencer gave a little smile. Maybe it was turning out alright.

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**Awgh Spencer's getting better!**

**So I think that the next chapter will be a epilogue or something of that nature. **

**Thanks again for reading! Reviews please! **


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